| Bullying: What we can do |  | HOW BAD IS THE BULLYING PROBLEM?
Bullying is an international problem. In the Minnesota Department of Education Student Survey in 2000, 74% of student's 8-11 years old and 86% of student's 12-15 years old reported that bullying was a problem at their school. Other studies show that nationally:
-80% of students are bullied at some time during the school year
-15% are bullied on a regular basis
-43% of students fear bullying and harassment at school
-50% of fights at school are in retaliation for bullying
-15% of all absenteeism is directly related to fears of being bullied
-bullying is on the increase in schools nationally
WHAT IS BULLYING?
According to the Steps to Respect Program, a curriculum that is being used in many of our elementary schools, "Bullying is unfair and one-sided. It happens when someone keeps hurting, frightening, threatening, or leaving someone out on purpose."
BULLYING VS. HARASSMENT
Harassment is a legal term. It involves bothering someone because of his or her gender, race religion, or disability. Bullying is NOT a legally defined in Minnesota.
Bullying may be harassment if the victims are members of a protected group or is sexual in nature.
BULLYING VS. NORMAL PEER CONFLICT & HORSEPLAY
Normal peer conflict varies with age and includes teasing, arguing, concerns about fairness, or one-time verbal or physical aggression.
Horseplay may include games that get physically rough such as tag, play wrestling or play kung fu.
WHAT CAN OUR SCHOOLS DO ABOUT BULLYING?
-conduct a bully survey of students and staff
-have a school discipline plan that clearly addresses bullying
-educate staff and families about bullying and how to intervene effectively
-provide an anti-bullying curriculum
-have adequate staff supervision before and after school, on the playground and in the lunch room
-provide supervised games, activities, and equipment for recess
-establish a procedure for reporting bullying
-establish an anonymous bully tip-line
-have consistent consequences for bullying
-help bully victims through coaching and counseling
HOW CAN STUDENTS HELP?
-teach them that it is essential to report bullying
-teach them to speak up to bullies as a group
-teach them to be assertive and support victims of bullying
TATTLING VS. REPORTING
Tattling is telling on someone to get them into trouble. Reporting a bully is necessary when:
-someone is unsafe
-confronting the bully doesn't work
-someone is touching someone's private parts
It is critical to help children feel safe when reporting a bully. Most students feel that reporting bullying to an adult doesn't help and some children think that reporting a bully will only make the bullying worse.
HELPING VICTIMS OF BULLYING
1. AFFIRM THE CHILD
"You were right to tell me about this." "I'm glad you asked me to help you with this."
2. ASK QUESTIONS
"Tell me more about what happened." "Has this happened before?" "Did anyone try to help you?"
3. ASSESS THE STUDENT'S SAFETY
Determine what the child needs in order to feel and be safe now.
4. TAKE ACTION
Talk to the school counselor or administrator.
SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD MAY BE A VICTIM OF BULLYING
-frightened to walk to school
-schoolwork is going downhill
-has damaged clothing, etc.
-becoming withdrawn
-starts fighting with peers or friends
-has headaches, stomachaches, or other stress symptoms
-cries in bed at night
-having nightmares
-possessions or money is missing
-unexplained bruises, cuts, etc.
-refuses to say what's wrong
SHOULD YOUR CHILD LEARN MARTIAL ARTS TO DEFEND HIM/HERSELF AGAINST BULLIES?
Research shows that when children fight back aggressively, bullying tends to last longer and get worse. However, there are good self-defense programs:
Self-defense classes for children should:
-not give false confidence
-teach simple techniques
-teach evasion and escape NOT punching and kicking
-teach how to fall safely
-teach blocking and escapes from grabs
-include conflict resolution and assertiveness
|
|
